Meaning in life

The meaning in life becomes clear when facing an extreme life situation. Having an illness, especially a serious one, is one such situation. Losing one’s health poses a threat to life, and having an illness makes a person fear losing their life. This fear leads to experiencing anticipatory grief. People only experience grief and pain of letting go when it comes to things that matter to them. Therefore, life is meaningful.

The meaning in life is found in things that have felt meaningful to us over the course of life. The most important are the people close to us and our health. Other important things include those that have provided self-fulfilment and allowed us to live the kind of life we want, either directly or indirectly. Meaning is also found in seeing our values and beliefs come through. Overall, meaning comes from a feeling of connection with the people and things that are important to us. All of this together forms the contents of our life.

But the contents alone have no life – they need a story. A person’s life story is only formed when the meaningful things in life are connected to life events. This creates a space in which the events we consider good and meaningful are joined by events and times that didn’t feel – or were not – as good. Our life story is not written until this is done. Not until this can you see the meaning in your life in its entirety.

Seeing comprehensive meaning in life is a counterforce to the illness that poses a threat to life. It raises forces that can be referred to as “fighting for your life”. Once you realise that your entire life story is being threatened, you’re allowed to feel afraid and under threat. Experiencing anticipatory grief hurts, and it’s allowed to hurt. The pain of letting go is contradictory, in that it comes from a good, meaningful place, but is painful to experience.

In order to see the meaning in life, you need to be able to examine your life and your personal life story. You have to journey into yourself. In addition to gratitude, you need to be allowed to face any disappointments and feelings of guilt that you have come across in life.

A journey into yourself also involves asking questions. It’s helpful to have another person – someone you feel safe with – asking these questions. It’s important that you’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings, and that you feel safe doing so. You need to let your life take shape; this allows the meaning in life to become clear too. This is important in helping you see why your life is meaningful.

Is life meaningful in and of itself? There is no answer. Just the fact that no one is able to obtain life on their own – it’s always received – forces us to evaluate the meaning in the life that we have received. Every person approaches the meaning in life through their own experiences. Perhaps rather than the meaning in life itself, it’s important to see the meaning in a complete life story. That’s where a meaningful life can truly be found.