Suffering may manifest itself as a troubling sense of overall discomfort posing a threat – whether real or perceived – to personal integrity. Suffering is often accompanied by a feeling of loss of control over one’s life. When we experience suffering, our thoughts are on the suffering, which takes up a great deal of our personal resources and narrows our existence. Suffering can be either physical, psychological, social, or spiritual in nature. Suffering may also be existential – in other words, tied to our existence or the things we consider meaningful in life.
In the midst of suffering, we need hope. What helps us in such situations is the compassion and presence of another human being. When we feel seen, heard, acknowledged, and cared for, our suffering may ease or become bearable.
The experience of suffering
Suffering entails a variety of emotions. We may feel unsafe and afraid of prolonged suffering. The future may feel uncertain and impossible to predict – something we have no control over. This feels distressing. Suffering is made worse if we feel like no one acknowledges our suffering. There is a need to give some kind of meaning to suffering – a reason for why we suffer.
There are many aspects to a human being, including
the functioning, physical body
the thinking mind, directing the way we function
the emotional “self”
the social being, connected, or striving for connection, to other people
The existential and spiritual aspect, searching for meaning.
The totality of the human “self” is more than the sum of its parts. When we experience suffering related to one aspect, it results in suffering for the entire person. For example, physical pain does not affect just our body but our entire being, our “self”. In addition to our functional capacity, physical symptoms affect our mind, our emotions, and our ability to connect with other people. At the same time, physical symptoms have a profound effect on our psychological and social wellbeing. Similarly, psychological, social, existential, or spiritual distress may manifest as physical symptoms – such as pain or nausea – and hinder our capacity to function socially with other people.
Easing suffering
We often seek ways to relieve our suffering. Physical suffering may ease with appropriate symptom relief. Our sense of distress and unsafety may be relieved with psychological, existential, or spiritual support. Being met with compassion, experiencing the presence of another human being, and being heard makes us feel better and enhances our feeling of hope.